Palacios Traded Medicaid, Jobs, and Affordability for Loyalty to the People Bent on Screwing Over the CNMI

By Mabel Doge Luhan for Mabel’s Table, Kandit News & Views

Thanks, Arnold!

Thanks for your full endorsement and support of President Musk, Vice President Putin, and their entire cast of eager catamites. You’ve been collecting a salary from the CNMI — first for standing by and watching as it was allegedly looted, and now for standing by and politely applauding as it’s being destroyed.

We’re less than a week into the Musk-Putin regime, and cutting $2.3 trillion in Medicaid has already come up as a goal. Thanks for advancing that agenda, Arnold! Only pretty much everybody in the CNMI depends on Medicaid; what could go wrong without it?

The cuts in Medicaid are, of course, for funding ICE sweeps against undocumented people. Thanks again on that one, Arnold. You’re making sure we won’t have a workforce in the CNMI. You’re working hard, sipping drinks and posing for photos with Ron DeSantis, making sure that there will be nobody to build houses, cook meals, wipe asses, or drive taxis for us in the CNMI. You’re also working hard to make sure that most of our friends and neighbors in the islands will now live their lives in fear, even if all their papers are in order.

And the proposed tariffs on China? That are supposedly going to shift demand to American manufacturing? As little manufacturing capacity as there is in the US, there’s even less in the CNMI. News flash: We import everything, even fruits and vegetables, and even meth. Thanks to your diligent efforts, the working people of the CNMI will be paying a lot more for just about everything.

Diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives have allowed the people of these islands — whose formal qualifications, such as entrance exam scores, are often lacking — to get a chance in the US military, civil service, education, and business. We thank you, Arnold, for standing against those initiatives, so that our people may be stuck farming breadfruit on our islands, whether they want to or not.

How does that Trump champagne taste, little man? Does it feel good standing front and center in the photo ops, as the brown one? Do you ever think about all the people who devoted years of their lives, careers, and reputations to you — or did you forget about them when offered a BUFFET LUNCH in Washington?

Oh, I’ll be fine during the Trump regime. Thanks for asking. I have enough cash, guns, and porn to get through anything. But I’m worried, very worried, about the CNMI’s regular folks.

Do you ever think about them?

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Mabel Doge Luhan is a woman of loose morals. She resides in Kagman V, where she pursues her passions of crocheting, beatboxing, and falconry.