Why those rainbow flags matter

Having an effeminate voice or swagger in the 1980s and the 1990s in Guam was inviting some (most likely closet case) macho guy to call you a “gela,” “fag,” or “bakla.” The “tomboys” with mullets were called “dykes.” Sometimes the slurs led to violence. The braver among us in those olden days of the quieted gay “community” on island wore their differences with pride. Some of them were bullied and pressured so bad, they committed suicide. Others chose drug and alcohol abuse to see their way out of that cruelty.

I understand things were worse for those who came before us. I can’t imagine. I’m glad people like BJ Cruz blazed the trail for us.

I feel like some parts of our society paint gays with one brush stroke. That we are these perpetual techno-dancing, bright-colors wearing, Speedos gallivanting 20-somethings who sip Mai Tais by swimming pools. Most of us don’t go to the Pride parties and have never been to a wave. We’re simply your classmates. Your co-workers. Your brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, cousins.

We pay the same outrageous power bills and rents you do. We struggle right beside you. We’re generally the first people you call for gossip, or for a shoulder to cry on. And, yes, many of us sit in pews right next to you at church.

Bonus: A bunch of us probably aren’t even sexually active, blowing one big hole into arguments against Pride celebrations, and even religious arguments.

Gay pride month, for most of us I believe, isn’t about the pool parties or the parades and the dancing (though I have no idea what is wrong with any of that). It’s a commemoration of what we’ve been through simply to get to a point in society where young boys and girls aren’t assaulted because they talk different, or wear clothes outside the norm.

Guam has come a long way since the ’90s. But, unfortunately, gay bashing still exists just as surely as misogyny, racism, and other forms of idiocy surely thrive. That rainbow flag is a reminder that progress is about love conquering hatred and education overcoming ignorance.

Hate away on this opinion all you want. But, in my experience, the men who will do so are 999 out of 1,000 the biggest closet cases. And never even good looking enough to warrant a second glance.