The Guam Political Circus Presents: “The Great Gubernatorial Tightrope Walk”

Opinion by John Ananich II for Circus Weekly, a Kandit News & Views column

 

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up! The 2026 gubernatorial election is rolling into town, and it promises to be the greatest political show Guam has ever seen. Watch in amazement as candidates perform daring feats of rhetoric, impossible balancing acts, and high-risk maneuvers to avoid falling into political irrelevance!

The Star Performers

In one ring, we have Lieutenant Governor Josh Tenorio, a well-seasoned performer in this circus. He’s been consistently spear-heading projects, juggling crises, and tightroping over government scandals for years. But unlike some of his competitors, he’s actually made it across the wire before. He’s been in the trenches, weathered the storms, and kept Guam afloat when the stakes were high. Now, he’s trying to swing from the trapeze of second-in-command to the big chair at Adelup. Will he stick the landing? Well, let’s just say he’s got the form, the experience, and a proven track record of not face-planting when it matters most.

In the other ring, making his grand return, is former Senator Marcel Camacho, a Republican contender who swears this time, they’ll stick the landing. He’s dusting off the campaign slogans, polishing the promises, and getting his act together for a shot at the governor’s seat. But here’s the thing about political comebacks—sometimes, they’re just reruns of a show people stopped watching years ago. Can he navigate the ever-changing three-ring circus of Guam politics, or will he get stuck in the spinning wheel of “almost got there”?

And let’s not forget the mystery acts lurking behind the curtains, waiting for their dramatic entrance. You know how it goes—someone, somewhere, is “seriously considering running”, waiting for the right moment to dive into the ring, acting like they haven’t been planning this for the last four years.

Will a wildcard candidate appear out of nowhere? Will someone with zero political experience but a million Facebook followers decide they’re “what the people need”? Or will we get a last-minute candidate whose only selling point is “Well, at least I’m not the other guy!”

One thing is certain—this show is far from over.

The Stunts to Watch

The Flaming Hoop of Economic Recovery – Every candidate swears they can leap through this without getting burned. “We’ll fix the economy,” they’ll say, “We’ll bring jobs, boost businesses, and lower the cost of living!” But history tells us that most end up landing on their face, smelling of over promises and charred credibility.

Now, in fairness, some have actually helped put out fires instead of lighting new ones. Some have been there when disaster struck, keeping the island steady while others sat in the bleachers throwing popcorn.

The Disappearing Act of Government Accountability – Keep your eyes on the candidates! If you blink, you might miss them vanishing from public view the moment they get into office. Pre-election, they’ll be at your barbecue, shaking hands, holding babies, and promising a brand-new era of transparency. Fast forward to post-election, and suddenly no one’s returning calls, the roads are still full of potholes, and your power bill just hit new record highs. It’s a trick as old as time, folks!

But there are a few rare acts out there who haven’t bailed on the audience after the show—the ones who still answer tough questions, who still show up when things go wrong, and who don’t just pop up when there’s a ribbon-cutting ceremony and free media coverage.

The Juggling of Public Opinion – Watch in awe as candidates try to keep small businesses, government workers, military interests, tourism, and the cost of living all in the air at the same time. One wrong statement, one awkward debate moment, and suddenly, the entire act comes crashing down. If history has taught us anything, it’s that the last-minute “promises” tend to be the biggest ones—because at that point, they’re just throwing anything they can in the air and hoping the voters catch something.

Now, some jugglers actually have the skill to keep all the balls in the air without fumbling. Others? Well, they start strong, but by the end, they’re just kicking promises under the table and hoping nobody notices.

The Cannonball Act of Campaign Season – You know it’s officially election time when candidates start firing shots at each other from across the island. One minute they’re talking policy, the next, they’re digging up dirt from twenty years ago like it’s the final round of an FBI investigation. It’s a full-contact sport out here, and the best part? Half the crowd is just here for the drama.

But, if you look past the fireworks, some candidates don’t need to throw mud to look clean.

The Grand Finale

At the end of it all, it’s not about who has the best tricks, the flashiest promises, or the most dramatic comeback story. It’s about who the audience believes.

Because in this circus, the voters are the real ringmasters—and on election day, they’ll decide who gets the standing ovation and who gets sent home packing.

So grab your popcorn, Guam! The show is just getting started, and as history has shown us time and time again, this circus never really leaves town.

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John Ananich is a local small businessman and resident of Dededo.