By Mabel Doge Luhan for Mabel’s Table, Kandit News & Views
It’s a scorching hot day today, but I had to do my duty in the mews: I sent all seven of my falcons to circle Saipan at high noon today, in honor of Brendan Layde. And this wasn’t one of those snarky, tongue-in-cheek overflights, where the falcons drop a couple of donalds mid flight. No, I am in serious awe of Brendan Layde. Or as the Variety used to say, Attorney Brendan Layde. (Props to the Variety on no longer using “Attorney” as an honorific. That Grammarly subscription is really paying off!)
According to Layde, and as reported by Bryan Manabat in the March 13th Variety, not only is Loi Lam Sit related to IPI, but so is Team King Investment. Anyone with a brain knew this. But huge props to Brendan Layde for bringing the receipts: quite literally the receipts. Howyo Chi paid Team King’s auction registration fee with his personal credit card. These alleged crooks aren’t even allegedly smart!
But don’t be too happy yet. Because the sad part is that just like a Scooby-Doo mystery, had it not been for Si Brendan, the alleged crooks would have totally, absolutely gotten away with this brazen fraud. Sure, I would’ve known that it’s probably an alter ego, and so would have a few judges and lawyers and AUSAs — but I don’t think anyone would have put in the time to track down the details, because it’s not our job.
It is the newspapers’ job to track down such things, but, well, you know. IPI and Team King and whoever else can operate with impunity knowing our “newspapers” — that can literally be bought off through a “public relations” contract.
It’s also the Commonwealth Casino Commission’s job to track down such things. In fact, it’s pretty much their only job. On paper, of course. So it’s just slightly ironic that the CCC is caterwauling about its supposed back pay when it yet again demonstrated that it does absolutely nothing useful.
Coincidentally also in the March 13th Variety, Si Ralph Demapan came out swinging, announcing to the world that he doesn’t know what the word “indemnify” means. It’s a slightly specialized word. Probably most people aren’t familiar with it. But not only is Si Demapan a highly paid casino commissioner — who should presumably be aware of basic legal language like “indemnify” — but that word wasn’t forced on him. He brought it up in his own cockamamie pseudolegal argument. Announcing loud and proud that he has no idea what the word means. And demanding to nevertheless get paid for his fake job of regulating a casino that hasn’t existed for years. On a casino commission that Trump and DOGE acolyte Arnold Palacios refused to disband — but taking away our food stamps, schools, and medical care, he is now fully on board with.
Meanwhile, with no fancy titles, no special assistants, no statisticians, and not even any Tinian liaisons, Brendan Layde has single-handedly done the work that the newspapers and the CCC won’t do. Presumably because he cares, and because he’s highly literate. None of the information was hidden. It’s all public records, all available online, or at a CNMI government office. Any “commissioner” or “reporter” could have found the same info. But they lack either the literacy or the motivation.
We need you and more like you, Brendan Layde. Tell your Boalt Hall classmates that you know of a place where bright law school graduates can earn Walmart greeter wages while being treated as hostile invaders. Or don’t, actually. I know you’ll leave us once you’ve had enough, but please stick around just a little bit. And when it’s all over, please speak of us well, even if I suspect you won’t.
_____
Mabel Doge Luhan is a woman of loose morals. She resides in Kagman V, where she pursues her passions of crocheting, beatboxing, and falconry.
