By Mabel Doge Luhan Oh what a scorching week I’ve had! His name: Ricardo. Ricardo’s eyes: cool granite. Ricardo’s hair: the deep brown of Rafet’s panties when he hears police…

By Mabel Doge Luhan In Friday’s Variations, Zaldy Dandan quotes Robert Higgs: “Here in the United States we have been flinging rascals hither and yon for more than two centuries.…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Oh, boo hoo! The Hyatt is closing down! Now I have no idea where I’ll go to “savor” (as the Saipan newspapers always say) recently thawed…

By Mabel Doge Luhan My loyal possums, the impossible is transpiring this very second. I’m praising the CNMI Department of Labor! Their latest press release (about the Division of Employment…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Troy Torso always celebrates the winners in the news. I, on the other side, am A HYPERELDERLY WRETCH, so I want their names when they lose!…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Thank you, Bryan Manabat! I thoroughly enjoyed the science-fiction story you published in the Variety’s April 19th issue: “Hong Kong Airlines chairman to captain inaugural flight…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Good news for people who love bad news! On April 19th, IPI declared not just moral but also financial bankruptcy! You can find the list of…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Have you ever read something (EXCLUDING MY INNOVATIVE AND HELPFUL COLUMN) that you badly needed to be funny, but it turned out to be completely unfunny?…

By Mabel Doge Luhan My previous article, about weed, weddings, and Amazon (sort of like Wein, Weib, und Gesang) was even more popular than I’d hoped for! In fact, my…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Life here in Saipan has been so hectic since the planeloads of Australian and Malaysian tourists started arriving! Thanks for the good work, MVA. All those…