By Mabel Doge Luhan
“Hello! I’m a total piece of shit! I despise you and will make you suffer! Vote for me!”
It’s not often that a politician openly announces that.
And it’s even less often that upon hearing that pitch, people cheer and support that politician. Even after he told you exactly who he is, how much he despises you, and how much he will directly harm not only your dignity but also your basic life necessities.
But the Trump rally at Madison Square Garden conveniently announced exactly who Donald Trump is and what he represents. With uncharacteristic candor.
It was no coincidence that the rally was held at Madison Square Garden, almost exactly 85 years after another self-described “Pro-America Rally” in the same venue:
https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/americans-hold-nazi-rally-in-madison-square-garden
At that rally in 1939, Americans found out who Nazis really were. And they were disgusted.
At the rally in 2024, Americans heard much of the same talk. And many Americans were in fact disgusted. But many, especially here in the Marianas, were not.
“Puerto Rico is an island of garbage in the ocean.” How dense do you have to be to hear that and think it applies only to them, Puerto Ricans, and not to us, in the Marianas?
The photos of brown-skinned people living in American neighborhoods shown on the overhead as if they’re meant to be shocking, and Stephen Miller acting as if he’s never seen a brown person before, shocked, and caterwauling that “this is not America.” How can you not realize that this is exactly his opinion of us here, in the Marianas?
Trump specifically, literally said, “Guam is not America.” What more do you need?
He also said he will introduce 60% sales taxes (“tariffs”) through an executive order. Even his boyfriend Elon Musk admits that this will cause “economic pain.” But when you’re a billionaire, it doesn’t really matter whether your cellphone costs $500 or $800. Or whether your zoris cost $160 or $180. Or whether your bush cutter costs $300 or $480. It’s pocket change, a rounding error — and you and your croneys get to benefit from reduced market competition. That’s why China, Russia, and other dictatorships Donald Turnip loves always have high tariffs: because those countries’ leaders don’t care about average people, and instead care about helping their croneys.
(By the way, our local Chinese meth dealers cum store owners will be happy, because they buy their products directly from China, without ever entering US Customs territory. Trump’s tariffs will eliminate the competition for them from Amazon and other online purchases from the mainland US, which would incur that 60% tax. Hooray! For them.)
He wants to slash all the federal aid programs that most of our population subsists on. Hello CNMI’s Trump fans! You do realize he openly promises to take away your SNAP, WIC, Medicaid, and everything else you take for granted, right? And yet you still support him.
And hello old angry white men who populate our bars and comment sections! You do realize he’s going to make it more difficult for you to import your next wife, right? And yet you still support him.
Speaking of our comment sections, watch for an intensification of the mental health crisis that started during the Reagan years. Get ready for more psychiatrically unwell folks walking along our roads, screaming at us at the post office, and of course, posting on our newspaper comment sections. And we won’t be able to do anything about it.
Trump openly mocks our military, while admiring China’s and Russia’s militaries. Oh and Hitler’s too! He admires and has late-night heart-to-hearts with the dictators that stand ready to swoop in and take over these islands.
So tell me: Why do you keep supporting him? Because you hate transgender people so much? Because you’re a misogynist? Because you believe that somehow if we get rid of the Filipinos or the Bangladeshis, you’ll finally get that do-nothing $100k/year job you always wanted? Because you sympathize with how well (not really) Donald functions despite his raging addiction to amphetamines?
Seriously. Morgen. Manana si yuus. Wake up.
_____
Mabel Doge Luhan is a woman of loose morals. She resides in Kagman V, where she pursues her passions of crocheting, beatboxing, and falconry.
8 Comments
Grandpa
10/31/2024 at 7:44 AM
Mabel,
It’s called TDS, Trump Derangement Syndrome. Sorry, there is no cure once you completely lose your mind.
Mabel Doge Luhan
10/31/2024 at 12:45 PM
“Derangement” might be a bit harsh, but yes, he’s definitely suffered cognitive deterioration over the past decade, in addition to what is likely a mild congenital intellectual disability. Cognitive decline in old age happens to the best of us, but I don’t want a person suffering from it to be the leader of our country.
Andy
11/01/2024 at 6:34 PM
But you didn’t say SHIT when we watched Joe Biden buffoon around unchecked for 4 years. How dare you speak up now!? You seem like a partisan shill the can’t see the clear contradiction in your statements. You peddle fear in hopes of more comments, reads, etc. It’s a shame really.
Mabel Doge Luhan
11/02/2024 at 8:07 PM
YOU NEED A HUG
CNMI Lawyer
11/03/2024 at 1:49 AM
Many Americans support equal opportunity for individuals with mental illness. A vote for Trump is a vote for empowerment of the differently abled.
The President does not perform every task in the Executive branch. That is the role of the Cabinet. The President inspires and sets the tone.
Do we really want a President whose top priority is the slaughter of unborn human life?
M.Mendiola
10/31/2024 at 7:10 PM
Lol dont you have any real journalism skills?
Alan San Nicolas
11/01/2024 at 6:57 AM
Hagas ha si trump satanas man hasso. I chatpago-ña u atan maisa gue. Hamyu ni man hanao lagu ni pon atende I gupot ( inetnon ) republican, hayi pago pon supotta ? Esta ni na mancha / applacha hamyu as trump. Pupbliku, gof hasso gi ha’anen botasión.
elkapitan
11/05/2024 at 8:02 AM
You seem to be living in a box and out of contact with reality while continueing to ingest the same mind altering substance. You seem to have mental health issues and need help.
Love him or hate him, the world is watching and is looking at the possability of another four years under this this failed Admin. that has/is destroying the country and causeing termoil that reaches back to Obama in many cases. (even Bill Clinton (live) admitted the economy was better under Trump)
We have all seen 4 years under Trump inspite of much of the same rehetoric that never transpired. One example is he refused to prosecute Hillary Clinton amid calls to do so.
Also under executive order, Trump closed down the border (which Biden/Harris opened up to all.)
Also under Trump the US was exporting oil and pump prices were dollars lower among everything else such as groceries etc.