The questionable conduct and motives of an entire newsroom


Zaldy Dandan’s editorial “An uncanny resemblance to the world’s oldest profession” alleges that “House members are “‘rationing’ and ‘timing’ their ‘revelations’ and subpoenas to keep the issue alive throughout this election year’s campaign season.”

Proof? Example? Citation? None given, of course: it’s the Marianas Variety, after all! An opinion article doesn’t absolutely need proof or even facts — my opinion column, for instance, prints more lies than a Christmas card from the Trumps — but when your entire newspaper lacks credibility, some proof would be, you know, useful.

And then the imputed motive for the imputed fact: “Apparently, they cannot run on their record.” In other words, how far can we take this flight of fancy? Start with a wild assertion, see where it leads, and just keep writing. You may want to convince us of this “rationing and timing” thing before you lecture us about its motivations.

Then Zaldy alleges that the Governor “pooh-poohed the Hyatt Regency Saipan’s closure.” Let’s give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume that you don’t know what that term means, and are not intentionally mischaracterizing Governor Palacios’s statements. He would have “pooh-poohed” the closure had he denied its reality, as Ralph Torres has always denied personally gaining from his government position.  The Governor, instead, “pooh-poohed” the idea that the Hyatt’s closure is monumentally indicative of economic downfall.

Whether Palacios is right — who knows. Joseph Schumpeter is definitely on his side. But you can at least be careful to get Palacios’s statements right.

The Hyatt’s main obstacle is that they have to uphold certain standards with the brand — and the deteriorated physical plant is less than compatible with those standards, not to mention the difficulty of upholding Hyatt service standards when good service isn’t really in our culture.

The local Hyatt does need authorization to use that name, you know, even if they’re all the way in Saipan. They can’t just steal the name, logo, and stylized branding of The Variety, a highly reputable magazine that’s been around since 1905, and slap a “Marianas” in front of it. Sime Silverman holds up a decrepit middle finger from the grave!

Then the editorial brings us this beaut: “As pointed out by HANMI and the Saipan Chamber of Commerce, the CNMI needs at least 500,000 arrivals a month so businesses can at least break even.”

Right. HANMI and the Chamber of Commerce. Impartial experts. One, a hotel cartel, and the other, Tan Holdings wearing a hat and mustache. So our policy should cater to these businesses’ demands, rather than businesses adapting to their environment? Oh, right. I forgot what kind of “newspaper” you are.

After years of being the servile pet poodles of the local politicians and Chinese gangsters who looted us into penury, you are now calling for accountability and transparency? When IPI was handing out millions to Torres cronies, you were running articles fawning over Cui Lijie and her “six-star hotel.” (The ones with competent English were the ones directly written by IPI!)  When BOOST was putting the finishing touches on the heist, you were cheerleading for every check.

Why were the massive corruption, complete disregard of law, and brazen theft — all happening steps from your office — only publicly exposed by a London-based reporter working for a New-York-based newspaper, followed up by a Scooby Doo gang of unpaid amateur journalists from Guam?

Oh that’s right: you were doing “public relations” for the miscreants.

So who’s engaged in the world’s oldest profession?

Those women (and a few men) in Garapan are doing it out of economic desperation — not venality, cowardice, and smug indolence.

They are victims of the economic crash, not its brown-nosed accomplices.

Which is more than I can say for you.

_____

Mabel Doge Luhan is a woman of loose morals. She resides in Kagman V, where she pursues her passions of crocheting, beatboxing, and falconry.


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