By Mabel Doge Luhan
Congratulations and felicitations to Fat Hitler, soon to be our new emperor! TrumpLovr670 and SPNLuv2H8, along with the betting markets, had a better read on the election than the Bayesian Markov Monte Carlos I was running on my PCjr. (Though you should see the cute sticker I have on it that says PCsr!)
Yes, it’s going to suck for the Marianas. Yes, we might very well be table scraps for China and Russia to feast on the carrion of our brown corpses. And I don’t know how anybody is going to do anything here without a downpour of federal entitlement programs.
But much like my third husband’s mysterious death, what’s done is done. And now all we can do is look forward.
And one advantage we have here in the Marianas — especially the CNMI, but to some extent also Guam — is that we’re small enough to be nimble. And far enough from DC that we can kind of, sort of dance our own jig.
We saw the downside of this when an alleged criminal gang allegedly took control of the CNMI’s government and robbed us blind — with absolutely no federal response.
But there’s a good side too. And an opportunity.
Half of America, generally the richer half, is extremely unhappy with the election outcome. And quite a few of them are looking for the exits. See, for example:
https://www.cnbc.com/2024/11/01/wealthy-americans-plans-leaving-united-states.html
And don’t forget:
We in the Marianas could become a refuge for people unhappy with MAGA America. We’d get some millionaires and maybe even billionaires living here. Maybe even some new businesses.
How? Enshrine in statute, policy, and public pronouncement everything on the anti-MAGA wishlist. Point out that we’re not subject to any US Customs tariffs (unless we choose to be). Encourage the teaching of real history in schools. Protect journalists. Ban anti-immigrant policies.
Of course, that will never, ever happen. The only outsiders we’ll get here will be the same ones we’ve always attracted: Chinese gangsters and mainland American sex offenders. Because we’re too busy toeing the MAGA line. And we’ve never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity.
_____
Mabel Doge Luhan is a woman of loose morals. She resides in Kagman V, where she pursues her passions of crocheting, beatboxing, and falconry.
2 Comments
Grandpa
11/06/2024 at 5:45 PM
More TDS.
Thomas Songsong
11/06/2024 at 6:08 PM
Only in your own woke mind lady!