I admire the hardworking Saipan Chinese News! Holidays or not, they publish on time! Of course, publishing on time is a lot easier when they plagiarize almost all of the…

By Mabel Doge Luhan  Congratulations on your investigative reporting, Marianas Variety! You got an awesome scoop in your January 2nd issue. You caught Representative Julie Ogo introducing a completely wack…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Isn’t it great to have friends? I mean real friends, like my friends in Langley who let me use some of their AI tools to identify…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Making an airplane is hard! So when China built the “Chinese” Comac C919, they copied the fuselage from Airbus and the engines from GE. Making an…

By Mabel Doge Luhan It’s a sad day for Mabel’s Mockery Machine when the Variety is producing grammatically correct, factual, and even professionally journalistic news. Zaldy Dandan actually wrote a…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Isn’t technology wonderful? Orville just gave me his old T-Mobile Sidekick, apparently because it lacks a kitchen appliance! What will they think of next?  He’s just…

By Mabel Doge Luhan I’m fresh out of benzos and my dealer’s not answering the phone — it must be Christmas! We have a lot to be grateful for this…

By Mabel Doge Luhan It’s wonderful being the best at something! I slip my shuffleboard scorekeep a few Andy Jacksons to ensure I win every match. Indeed, I follow Mainland…

By Mabel Doge Luhan Oh, it’s almost Christmas again! Indeed, the Feast of Saint Lucia is usually when my grandchildren stop asking me for unrealistic Christmas gifts, and tone their…

By Mabel Doge Luhan It’s such a relief to hear AUSA Albert Flores announce that a prominent CNMI political figure is finally going to prison after years of feasting on…